In the Pierce College Roundup today writer Gil Riego made the case for remaining a virgin until marriage, whereas Ava Weintraub argued in favor of safe, responsible sex outside of marriage.
Riego asserted that he is a proud "24 year old virgin" and "part of a vastly dying group: those who honor their bodies and their emotions". He also said that when he decides to have sex, "it will mean something, because it will be with someone who means something to me."
Weintraub, on the other hand, wrote that "sometimes sex is just sex and doesn't involve love". She stated that "Making love to someone you care for is the height of intimacy. Casual sex is ok, too." Weintraub concluded her article by encouraging the use of condoms with the saying, "No glove, no love".
Do you agree with Riego who wants to save himself for the "right one" or Weintraub who believes that sex before marriage is acceptable?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
24 comments:
Let me start of by saying - Yay for Riego!!! He is right when he states that he is “part of a vastly dying group. . .” There aren’t too many 24 year old virgins living in our world today. Actually, as far as the San Fernando Valley goes it would be amazing to find an 18 year old virgin. It is extremely uncommon.
It is almost as though saving sex for marriage has died out; it is an act of the “ancient times” or in other words old-fashioned. Personally, I believe that that “innocence” no longer exists. We, as a society, are no longer ashamed of speaking our intimacies; we are free to speak sex. Sex has been viewed as the topic you just don’t speak about. In fact, several religions view premarital sex as a sin. Religious leaders believe that the two people uniting should be pure for each other, stainless. In other words, premarital sex leaves one “tainted”.
However, I must agree with Weintraub. I believe that sex before marriage is acceptable. One should not have to wait 25 or 30 years to involve oneself in an intimate relationship. You add that Weintraub states “sometimes sex is just sex and doesn’t involve love”, this is where I disagree. I am a strongly opposed to “casual sex”; I don’t believe in senseless sex. I believe that each and every time one unites oneself with another there’s a transmission of ones true self. Weird, I know; but true. There is more to sexual intercourse than just orgasms and diseases. So, once more I find myself in agreement with Ava and her “no glove, no love” motto.
I would have to agree with Reigo. It's amazing how people change over the years. Well the reason why I believe it is best to save yourself is because then when you get married there is a lot more commitment. A lot of people end up with regrets after pre marital sex. When people think that pre marital sex is good, they are just thinking about desires, while people who save themselves are thinking with intellect. One bad habit can lead to other bigger problems. If you don't believe me watch Jerry Springer!! I like to listen to older people's experience with their life. Many have told me that abstinence is the best, even though they didn't follow it.
I understand that you (Adam) fully sgree with Riego . . . correct?
If so, do you also believe in marrying your first "love"? How would you know what love truly is if you haven't experienced the different levels of love? too many times I have heard my girlfriends say "I thought I was in love w/ my ex, but now I know I wasn't". they'll usually say this when they get a new boyfriend they really like (keyword:like); when in fact it's just infatuation. as humans, we are intrigued by our boy/girlfriends until a couple months into the relationship when their true selves are revealed.
Would you buy a car w/o first testing a few other options? *(ok, to get a better understanding on where i stand on this specific issue you should probably read my previous blog)... I'm simply stating that you won't know true love until you have experienced false loves. And I don't know about you, but I would much rather end up with a few ex boyfriends and No ex-husbands.
You make a good point. I think you have to be serious about these things. I believe the more similar they are to you the better. I think that it is possible to have a successful marriage at first love but it is very rare in our society. Although I agree that you have to experience all kinds of different things, but I think premarital sex is just too far. I think most young people only think of sex as pleasure and disease. If everyone stopped premarital sex there would be so many benefits for our society. A big problem is that people search for the wrong qualities. Also the fact that many adults tell me that it is best to wait convinces me. If they regretted fornication then there must be a good reason why abstinence is the best way. Just think of all the lives of people who were negatively affected by premarital sex.
There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have premarital sex. People nowadays put you down if you are still a virgin at a certain age. I find that that is not right because there is a possibility that the person just wants to have their first time with someone they truly love.
I found it really refreshing to hear Riego proudly proclaim his choice to remain a virgin. In our culture we are inundated with images of sex from all forms of media, so it was nice to hear from someone who is apparently unaffected by all the gratuitous sexual images in the media. It is interesting that so far the comments by males have been saying that remaining a virgin is fine, whereas the females are saying that sex before marriage is recommended. Do you think the gender roles regarding sexual activity have changed for men and women over the years?
I agree with Reigo because everyone should save themselves for the one theylove i can not understand how someone can have sex and not love the person they are having sex with. In my culture we are raised to not have sex before we are married becuase once you have sex you are not considered "clean" anymore. I think this is right because why would someone want to get married to someone who has been around.
Do different cultures have different beliefs and values regarding sexuality? How does American culture compare to other cultures, such as your culture Anait?
Is there a double standard regarding males and females and sexuality in American culture as well as in other cultures?
well my culture is different from the American culture becuase in the american culture its ok for people to have sex with more than one person or have premarital sex.
So because of this I think that cultures do have different beliefs regrding sxuality. Also, in the american culture having a couple of boyfriends is normal, but Armenians think that if a girl has had more than one boyriend then they are also not clean in other words a ho.
That is interesting. Just curious...are matchmaking and arranged marriages used much in the Armenian culture? Also, is it frowned upon for men to have more than one girlfriend just as it is frowned upon for a woman to have more than one boyfriend?
In Armenia they do have arranged marriages but not for people living here in America. Most Armenian girls get married when they are 18 or 19 when they live in Armenia, but here they don't. Also, in Armenia when a guy or a guys parent sees a girl they like they go to the girls house and ask permission to go out with the girl, then they probably get engaged within that month and get married soon after.The guys have more freedom they are allowed to do whatever they want and have as many girlfriends as they want.
Recently I started thinking about STD's. I always wondered how it started and why they are associated as Sexually Transmitted Diseases. At school many teachers have said that back when they were younger; there weren't nearly as many sexually transmitted diseases. Nowadays premarital sex is a lot more common and accepted than a generation ago and now millions of people are suffering with STD's. Some religious man once said that,"If fornication becomes widespread, then realize that this never happened without new diseases befalling people that their ancestors never suffered from." I think this quote would explain a lot and it makes perfect sense to me. This is why I believe pre marital sex is bad.
I think that sex before marriage is acceptable, but should be approached with caution. Sex drive is a natural urge that has existed since humans themselves. So if somebody wishes to embrace this feeling it is their choice. In some religions and cultures it is frowned upon to engage in sexual intercourse before marriage, which I respect, but I still believe that there is no shame in sex before marriage. However, many sexually transmitted diseases exist, and one must be careful in their choice. It is much safer these days to have a more conservative view on this subject.
Yes. The gender roles regarding sexual activity have changed for men and women. Actually, sex in all has dramatically changed over the years. The drastic change can be seen through cinema. For example, I love watching classic movies… not Scarface classic… but The Age of Innocence classic. The differences of the innocence portrayed in these eras are even noticeable in the movie titles; i.e. American Pie vs. If I were free…..
As far as the double standard for men and women goes it’s the same in very culture whether conservative or liberal. Societies are always stricter on their women.
I agree with Anait mostly because I am from the same culture as her. In the Armenian society, sex before marriage is unacceptable. The guys like to have girls who they say are "clean" and they do not accept others who are not. There are some acceptions that I have heard other people talk about such as having sex with someone who you are engaged to and about to get married to which is okay and acceptable.
I personally think that it is not okay. I also agree with Riego that virgins are ""part of a vastly dying group" because our society has evolved and thinks that being a virgin is something you do not want to be. I think it is very sad that people are made fun of for being a virgin because they think that sex is something that you have to do right away, which I do not agree with at all.
I agree with nathan because everyone has a choice of what they want to do. If they choose to have sex then that means they are aware of the consequences of those actions. Although it is taboo in many religions and cultures, which i respect completely, there is not any real barrier stopping them from doing it.
ok first i have no problem with premarital sex. It is one of the many choices one chooses throughout life. Like whether to drink alcohol or to take guitar lessons. Its just and option. All options have risks and rewards this is just one more. Also i dont know about you peoples, but I hope you know that a condom does not protect aganst all diseases. In case you did not know, herpes and HPV make their way from person to person based on direct skin contact. But people go muahahaha stupid STDS i have a condom i win! HAHAHA... no. You see physically a condom only cover a penis. or in the case of a female condom the in side of a vagina. what about the are around where there is contact too... all i can say is have fun.
The only problem is about sex is pregnancy. You see the problem isnt having a child,( ok that could be quite a problem) but being there is provide and caring for it. But with premarital sex, the partners or lack of one forces the parent(s) to work. This leaves little personal time with the child. As they get less and less attention. The child grows into a socially inadept person. Thus making wrong decisions. Decisions such as having a sex when they are unprepared. Alas another vicious cycle...
Phil, I am glad you brought up the important point that condoms do not protect against all STD's.
I agree with Phillip that even though people use condoms they say it is not 100% effective even if used properly so just because it is close enough to 100% they believe that they wont be that one small percentage that will be affected. Teenagers have the tendency to think that things can't happen to them because they're invincible and bad things can't happen to them but we're all human and we are all more or less equal so the chances of that 1% that the condom won't work correctly for them is the same as everyone else
i dont think there is any problem with having sex before getting married. but there is many cultures that say they dont want anyone having sex before marriage. i dont think a lot of people now a days wait till there married to have sex.
I dont see the problem. There are risks such as Stds and pregnancy but you never know whos going to be the right one. Imaginae a scenario where you wait till your married to have sex. But it turns out the sex is really bad. This could or will cause a strain in the relationship
Post a Comment