Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Should Men Be Allowed to Cry?
In class today we began looking at gender stereotypes and the ways in which we are gender typed into having masculine or feminine qualities. One stereotype that was mentioned was that "boys don't cry". Do you agree with this notion that men should not cry? Why or why not?
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25 comments:
I think that men should be allowed to cry. Its their feelings they should be able to express it somehow, they shouldnt end up punching walls or taking it out on someone else. If crying is what men feel at the moment let them do it, no one is going to stop them, if something has reached a certain pont of level where the only solution is crying then i geuss they have to.
I agree with Georgia that men should be allowed to cry because we are all human beings. Although I think they should be allowed to, I think it should only be for something important. Also I don’t believe men should cry as much because men are generally less emotional. Sometimes it feels good to let out tears during a painful moment. I think that men are pressured to not cry in public because of our social culture. Sometimes it can be embarrassing to cry in public.
Sometimes in our society there is an attitude that when a man cries, it somehow makes him less of a man. I would argue the opposite- that when a man cries it makes him more of a man. After all like Adam said, we are all human beings and as humans we experience feelings and emotions. It takes a man that is comfortable in his own masculinity to openly display emotion.
Yes, I think men should also be allowed to cry. I also argue with the fact that "when a man cries it makes him less of a man". Everyone cries at times, either to relieve stress or something sad has occured like a death in the family. Why should men be made fun of when they cry just because they are men? Men do not cry as much as women do, but they still have the heart to shed a tear when something horrid occurs.
I also agree with georgia because men have feelings too. I think that if a person doesn't cry the they will become depressed or have a mental breakdown. Just because a person cries doesn't mean they are not man enough. If a person dies in your family, like Mark said, its not like your not going to cry just because your a guy, you still have to cry to let your feelings out. Most people think that guys that cry are not man enough, but i think any person who doesn't cry doesn't have a heart or doesn't feel pain because i think its impossible for a person never to cry in their lifetime.
I agree with Anait that continuously suppressing sad feelings can backfire and lead to emotional problems. Do you think that the idea that men are not supposed to cry is changing in the modern times that we currently live in? If you happen to have a son of your own one day, how will you react when he cries?
I think that it is changing becase a couple of years ago if a boy cried he would be a wussy, but now a lot of boys cry when they have to. It's just a way of showing your feelings, It's not like they cry every day, it just happens sometimes. If i have a son and he cries I will try to comfort him and ask him what's wrong.
I agree with everyone, especially with the fact that crying makes guys more manly. I believe that it takes a real man to be able to share his emotions in such a way.
I believe that men should be allowed to cry, as stated earlier we're all human everyone has the same emotions and crying is just a way of expressing one's emotions. Some cry because they are depressed,some cry because they are really happy, sometimes you just cry because you laughed too hard.
To me men are allowed to cry, but in specific instances and lenghts. In situations like death of a family member sure a man may grieve. In this instance, it makes him look weaker, yet more human, instead of a stotic block. But crying for days on end is sensless and sickening. By that time the person does not even know what they are crying about anymore and continues to be sad about be previously sad and so on. This goes not only for men, but everyone. People should be able to let go of their saddness and live on. Not dwell in their pinprick of grief.
I think Phil makes a good point regarding the idea that all people no matter the gender should be allowed to cry and show emotion when the situation is appropriate. From all of your comments I think that the stereotype of men not being allowed to cry is in fact changing. This gives me hope for the future in that men will be more emotionally healthy since they will feel free to express themselves and not keep sad feelings bottled up in an unhealthy manner. In terms of feeling depressed for days or long periods of time, depression affects more women than men. What are some strategies to fight depression?
I personally think that men should be allowed to cry. They are humans with emotions just like women. However, I know this may sound mean, but I would not want to see a man cry, especially if I am crying too. I would not know how to act if both of us were to be crying because it would make me feel less secure knowing that we are both emotional messes. My stand on the situation is that if a man needs to cry, do not do it in front of me.
Of course not; I find it ridiculous that anyone would even think as such. The act of crying is an emotional response that ALL humans experience. Tears are the production of one’s eyes. It is inevitable to tear up when we are overcome by strong emotions. Crying is a natural act. Stating that men should not cry is like stating that men should not speak. As human beings, we are born with these traits; we are just as innate to crying as we are to language. Both are an uncontrollable part of who we are. Men are equally as humane as women.
Okay, so it’s pretty clear that men are “predestined” to tear up and cry. Both women AND men are conceived the same way. Thus, they are bound to be overwhelmed with strong emotions just as well. However, in accordance with the stereotype that men and boys should not cry, there are certain limits as to how much a man should cry. Personally, I don’t believe there is something more sickening than ex sobbing over a break up. RElAX! It will be over . . . soon enough; there are other fish in the sea! So a note to all boys out there, while crying is acceptable in most cases DO NOT over do it. It is a major turn-off. There truly isn’t anything more annoying. It’s all about knowing when and how.
As far as the social cultural aspect of it goes, I believe the men have brought this amongst themselves. Most men are always presenting themselves to be monsterous machos .... in other words emotionally untouchable. when in fact they are just as sensible as us women are. I just think that boys try to hard; and in doing so they have only come to hurt themslves; no longer free to express feelings without criticism. Fortunately, yes, I do think the idea of men crying is changing. As a society we are becoming more accepting, openminded, to the fact that there truly isnt an official "god-given cirriculum" as to how humanity should be. People will be. If I ever have a son adn he cries, which he will, I won't react. It's as simple as that. What is there to react to? I would do as I would if a little girl was crying.
As the mother of two young boys, I will share with you what I do if they cry. I do my best to comfort them and console them, and I never use the words "boys don't cry." On the contrary, I tell them it is OK to cry, and I let them cry all they want, so they know it is perfectly fine to feel emotion. You might think this would encourage them to cry all the time, but in actuality, they rarely cry unless the situation calls for it. For instance, if my 4 year old falls down and skins his knee, that hurts and he sometimes might cry. Because he knows he can cry, he does not cry for very long and gets over it quickly.
I think that men should not be allowed to cry. I also agree with georgia in that not allowing these feelings to be expressed in a nonviolent way, can lead to a violent outburst, Such as punching walls or breaking something nearby. Nobody goes an entire lifetime without shedding a tear while in adulthood, it just doesn't happen. If a man was married to somebody he loved, and his wife got an illness and died, most likely he would cry, even a little. Nobody would accuse him for being less of a man for crying over his dead wife, they would in most cases be understanding of the fact he is going through a tough time.
I think it as changed over the years, but not enough. Generally when guys cry in public they are looked down upon, especially at school. For instance I know a guy who got kicked out of an AP class at school and he was crying, then a lot of people were talking about him later that day. Today it still seems that when girls cry it is generally more accepted. Many people today still have that mentality that men should never cry.
I think that it is totally acceptable for a man to cry. Some people think that it is un-manly like to cry but I think they should be allowed to express their feelings in any way they want. We are all human and cannot help ourselves if we need to let our feelings out. Sometimes no matter who you are you just have the urge to let your feelings out. For example if a man it as a funeral and he cries, it does not mean that he is less of a man. It just means that they are expressing their feelings and showing sympathy.
Crying is a natural behavior among humans. That means there must be a reason why people cry and it means that there must be some good behind it. I grew up with that stereotype and I was pressured not to cry in public. Today I think it still looks bad for men to cry in public. Fortunately I don't see it too often. When guy's cry in public they get a lot more attention, also more pity in some cases. In fact I have known a lot of male friends for many years and have hardly seen any of them cry. I think I have developed this behavior to a certain extent due to our society.
I agree with Jackie, it is absolutely okay for man to cry. All human beings have the right to cry doesn’t matter if it’s a man or a woman humans are humans. Maybe crying will help that certain someone calm down or let out their stress so what if it is a man. Man have feelings to, man go through a lot in life as well so why shouldn’t they have the right to cry without being called a wussy or any other ridiculous names like that. Sometimes crying is the best way to let your emotions out and everyone has the right to do that. Just like Jackie said most often people think it is un-manly for man to cry, but that is just ridiculous. Jackie brought up an excellent example, what if a close family member passed away, shouldn’t man have the right to cry ? I mean I am not saying man should sit there and cry hysterically like woman most often do but they have the right to somehow express their feelings and if crying is their way then they should cry!
I agree with what Ofleya said, "humans are humans." Telling a man that he can not cry is like telling a woman you are not allowed to get angry because it is not feminine to do so. I do not agree with that at all. Everyone should be able to express whatever they are feeling. I would rather have men cry to let their feelings out than punch walls and take their emotions out with only anger, just like Georgia stated in the first comment.
I ones again agree with Jackie. I too would rather see man cry then to see them punching walls, breaking things, or hurting someone. It is just not right to tease a man for crying because u never know what man go through and crying is a great way to express their emotions. For example my father lost his twin brother n both of his parents during the 1988 earthquake in Armenia and I am 100 percent sure my father at least shed a tear. I mean he lost three close people at ones, what is he to do sit there and go crazy or let his emotions out and in some way relax and calm down. Therefore man should be able to cry without being made fun of!!!
Yea I dont see why not. If something really bad or sad happens its ok. Just because gender roles and stereotypes show males as being agressive and dominant. It doesnt mean that bad stuff cant happen. I dont think i can imagine anyone who has never cried about anything
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